Oh what fun it is to run!

Last updated: 19-Jul-18

By Alice Morrison

Intense eyes staring into the fathomless distance, iron jaw clamped with determination, muscled legs tensed and ready to go. 100 miles of blood, sweat and tears ahead… Yes, this is YOU, ultra runner and hero. The good news is, we do have a sense of humour too, and may even have been seen in a Santa Hat with mistletoe glued to it.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, here’s some stuff to make you “HO, HO, HO!”

Things spectators shout that really #### you off

You’re doing great – I’m doing great? Really? I just took a shit in a hedge 1 mile back and I keep deliberately running veering the bus lane to see if one fancies finishing me off. Read the rest from Angry Jogger.

Triathlon Humour (words you don’t often hear together) came up with this one

Ironman vs. Ultra Runner

How to tell a Trail Runner from a Hipster

Thanks to ultra runner, Joe, for this piece. I like number 6. “A hipster wears actual Ray Bans. A trail runner wears fakes that cost $2.99 at a gas station (or were a freebie from a race).”

Gear malfunctions

Poor Sandie Orlando….  “My first experience was many years ago as a newbie runner, just discovering the exhilarating world of technical fabrics. For inspiration I had purchased a beautiful light blue pair of running shorts and a tank top — both in lovely, soft- but early- versions of technical fabric. Upon returning to the gym from my July morning run, I spent some time doing my stretch routine before heading into the weight room for some strength work. I noticed a few people smiling as they passed by, hey, they were happy to see me. I sat down on a bench with free weights in each hand, posed for a set of reps, and took a look in the mirror. The sweat pattern on my sexy new blue outfit had formed perfect wet circles around my nipples, and another decidedly unflattering, vertical crotch line. I was aghast — and got the heck out of there fast. That outfit was donated to a friend who never breaks a sweat and I took to spitting on running clothes in the change room to check out the sweat embarrassment factor before buying anything else! Read more funny stories.

And last but not least…..

What are the small rivers that run into the Nile? The juve-niles!
Ho Ho Ho! Happy Christmas to you all.

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An ultra distance race including at least two of the following activities such as running, swimming, cycling, kayaking, skiing and climbing. It may also include different climatic conditions (eg ice, snow, humidity, cold water, mud or heat).

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Increase of up to 2000 metres with very challenging climatic conditions (e.g. ice, snow, humidity, heat or at high altitude)

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Increase of up to 2000 metres with some challenging climatic conditions (e.g. ice, snow, humidity or heat)

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Experienced runners who have completed at least 4 ultras in last 12 months, or are doing regular long distance running (>50 miles) with elevation and conditions shown (where possible). Admission to these races may be subject to receipt of a recent medical examination certificate. Check with the race organiser regarding entry requirements.

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Increase of up to 1500 metres

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Runners who have completed several ultra distances or similar events, or are doing long distance running regularly, with elevation shown.

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Runners who have completed at least one ultra in last 6 months or are doing long distance running (>26 miles) regularly, with elevation shown.

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Very little change < 500 metres

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First ultra event. Runners completing a marathon or doing regular long distance running (>26 miles) in the last 6 months.